


Operation Hat

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Children, F/M, Family, Humor, Post Bartlett Administration, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-07
Updated: 2009-09-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: What's a party without a hat?





	Operation Hat

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: Spoilers through end of series.

 

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul.

 

Feedback and criticism always welcomed.  


* * *

_November 16, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; 3:30 PM PST_

“Hats!” We need hats, Daddy!”

“I know, Paddy. I’ve got them on the list. Now buckle your seat belt and we can get to the party store.”

Danny Concannon turned to the right and smiled at his son. Although only six, Paddy was already tall enough to sit in the front seat of the car. God, he looked so much like CJ.

“You have the list? The one we made last night?”

“Right here,” Danny answered, reaching into his breast pocket. “Hats; balloons; candy cups; Twister game; Pin the Tail on the Donkey; prizes; candles; plates; cups; napkins; tablecloths; mints; M&Ms punch; ice cream; chicken fingers; celery sticks; peanut butter.”

“And hats! Are hats on the list?”

“Yes, son, I have ‘hats’ on the list. See, right at the top.”

Danny handed said list to his son. Last night, when the two of them were making up the list, Danny had carefully printed the items they would need. With Paddy “officially” learning to read in first grade (although Danny had taught him a few words already), he and CJ made a concerted effort to make sure that they composed anything they might want to share with their son in letters he could read rather than cursive hand-writing.

Over the last two months, Paddy had fallen in love with the idea of being a big brother. There hadn’t been any real animosity on his part prior to this fall, other than some jealousy and insecurity right after Caitlin’s birth; if anything, it had been benign neglect. But right around Labor Day, Danny’s son had gone head over heels into sibling devotion for his little sister.

(“Enjoy it while you can,” said the voice of reason, in the person of Pete Dieliczko. “Soon enough, he’ll be back to calling her something like ‘Catgut’, torturing her dolls, quote-unquote ‘touching her’ in the car, wanting the peach rather than the orange simply because she voiced a preference, that sort of thing.”)

For now, at least, Paddy was teaching Caitlin her letters and numbers and making up stories to go along with her picture books. He held Caitlin’s hands in the swimming pool while she furiously kicked her little legs. Paddy gallantly watched whatever video Caitlin wanted, even when CJ said it was Paddy’s turn to choose. He made sure that the doors to the Jack and Jill bath between their rooms were open and night; when a bad dream caused Caitlin to whimper in her sleep, he crawled into bed and spooned up behind her. Paddy even offered to let Destiny sleep in Caitlin’s room if she wanted; however, he didn’t ask Destiny about that and the dog made her own choices in the matter.

This year, in had been Danny’s turn to take the kids trick or treating while CJ stayed home to give out candy. Paddy and Caitlin were dressed as Fred and Wilma Flintstone (Caitlin’s choice, of course) and rather than running ahead with Maggie, Mei-ling Wei, and Manny Hammash, Paddy held onto Caitlin’s hand, helping her to climb steps and walk down paths. He coached her to smile and say ‘Trick or treat’ while holding her bag open wide. He reminded her to say ‘Thank you’ when she forgot. And when they returned home and Danny hurriedly sorted through their loot for a couple of pieces they could eat right away, Paddy put several of his pieces – ones he knew that his sister liked – in Caitlin’s pile.

This Thursday would be CJ’s and Caitlin’s birthday. Caitlin would be three and CJ would be much older than that. “More than this many,” she had said laughingly, flashing her fingers five times, when Caitlin had asked “how much birfdays, Mama?” That night, the four of them would celebrate quietly at home.

But on Friday night, they would have the official party that Paddy had planned for his sister and his Mama. Their neighbors, old and young, a couple of the little kids from Godly Play (the during-Mass day care group at church), and their parents would gather at the house. Randy and Gina were coming down from Napa for a long weekend. Paddy wanted Caitlin to have “her best birthday ever!” (“Considering she’s only had two so far, it shouldn’t be hard to do,” Danny told his son.) Following Paddy’s plan, they would play games, blow up balloons, eat snacks, sing ‘Happy Birthday’, watch Caitlin open presents, eat cake and ice cream. And wear party hats.

Paddy looked on the other side of the paper. There were some more things. The writing wasn’t as easy to read and he didn’t understand a lot of the words.

“Daddy, what’s this?”

Danny took the list from his son and, after easing into the street outside the school, glanced down at it.

Beer.

Wine.

Mixers.

Nuts.

Lemons.

Limes.

Olives.

Maraschino cherries.

Cheese.

Guacamole.

Tortilla chips.

Salsa.

Hot appetizers.

Veggie tray.

Danny knew that their friends loved CJ and would be happy to gather to celebrate her birthday, but he also knew that they would be happier if they weren’t limited to refreshments catered by a first grader.

Danny eased the car into a parking space outside the party store. They entered the store and, grabbing a cart, started down the aisles.

“Hats! We have to get hats!”

Danny remembered something that Dick Jenkins, God be good to him, once said – “I could never, ever, beat my child, but there are times when I could empathize with someone who did” – and realized that right now, he was now in the same frame of mind. Danny had a feeling that Paddy's "Operation Hat" would not end with the purchases he was about to make.

Danny handed the list to Paddy, along with a pen. As they put things in the cart, the boy checked off the item, including hats for three dozen adults and two dozen children. Then Danny took the list from his son and commandeered the adult beverages. Going to the food section of the store, Danny found the nuts, the fancy cheeses, and the appetizers.

The next stop was the grocery store where they purchased the other food items and ordered a sheet cake, half chocolate, half white, with lots of flowers and “Happy Birthday Caitlin and CJ/Mama”, to be picked up on Thursday, along with a small single round layer cake with a similar inscription.

By the time Danny pulled into Hank and Steve’s drive (which was right next to CJ and Danny’s kitchen door, which made unloading groceries much simpler), it was 5:00. Paddy took three bags with him, but as soon as he entered the house, CJ hugged him and told him to go change out of his school uniform. With any luck, he would be able to wear the pants again without a wash. Then she went to help Danny with the rest of the stuff.

“Wow!” she said, putting an arm around his waist and pecking his cheek, “you must think I’m really worth it!”

“You? Nah. Now, Caitlin, on the other hand - ”.

However, the kiss he gave CJ after gathering her into his arms belied the teasing comment.

The two of them emptied the trunk of the car and Danny went to park it in their own drive while CJ went to tell the kids it was a little too cool to use the swimming pool but if they were very good, they could sit in the hot tub for a little bit.

_November 19, 2015; 6:00 AM PST_

“Happy birthday to you.”

CJ opened her eyes to stare into the blue ones smiling down at her as the sounds of the birthday song roused her from sleep.

“Thank you,” she said and accepted Danny’s kiss. “Where’s my present?”

“Right here,” came the reply as her hand was guided down her husband’s trunk. “But I don’t think you’re quite ready for it just yet.”

Danny’s mouth trailed from hers to her shoulder, her right breast, her stomach, to her -

Crash!!

The sound of glass and stoneware breaking on a hard surface permeated the closed bedroom door. (“Fuck!” “Unfortunately, not just now, Danny.”) CJ grabbed her robe while Danny put on the pajama bottoms he had removed right before he woke his wife and went to investigate.

“I wanted to give you and Caitlin breakfast in bed, Mama,” Paddy said, trying to keep from crying. Apparently, balancing a breakfast tray on each hand was not yet in the child’s skill set. “I’m sorry I made a mess!”

“That’s okay, sweetie,” CJ reached down and hugged her son. “It’s the thought that counts. Destiny, no!”

She looked down at the yellow lab who was licking at the toaster waffles, syrup, and juice, along with shards of glass and stoneware, that covered the floor. By this time, Danny had reached them and pulled the dog away from the mess.

“You could cut yourself, or eat the glass and get hurt.” Somewhere in his mind, Danny knew that Destiny didn’t understand the words, but something drove him to explain why he wasn’t letting the four-legged, fur-coated kid have the really good food on the floor.

“Mama?”

Caitlin came out of her room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her little bare feet headed straight toward the disaster site. CJ rushed over to pick up the little girl before she could step into the mess.

“Why don’t we all go into the kitchen and Paddy can start over? It won’t be breakfast in bed, but it will be nice,” Danny said. “CJ, why don’t you put Destiny outside while Paddy and I clean up this mess and try again.”

Later, the five of them were heading out the door. Danny put his backpack in the car as CJ, Paddy, Caitlin, and Destiny headed for the Muñoz place and Paddy’s ride to school.

“I think you owe me a birthday present rain check,” CJ whispered when Danny kissed her cheek.

“A debt I look forward to paying.”

_November 20, 2015; 9:00 PM PST_

“Okay, everyone’s asleep,” Danny said as he entered the family room.

“Does that mean that we can take off our hats?” Diana asked.

Three hours earlier, as the guests came to the party, Paddy met everyone at the front door and welcomed them.

“Thank you for coming to our party for my mother and my sister. How nice of you to bring a present. Please go into the family room and help yourself to punch and chips. We’re going to play ‘Pin the Tale on the Donkey’ in a few minutes. Be sure to tell Caitlin how much you like her new ‘My Little Pony’ tricycle. And here’s your hat.”

After everyone had arrived, Paddy led the guests in the games and handed out the prizes. Mei-ling got her tail closest to the Donkey’s fanny. Mike Muñoz won the kids’ Twister contest and Sally Rogers the adult version. Sophia Johnson, one of the kids from the church group, got the prize for having her balloon stick to the wall the longest. When it was time to eat, he guided everyone to their places and helped serve the chicken fingers and celery sticks stuffed with peanut butter. After Caitlin opened her presents, Danny lit the candles on the cake, the group sang ‘Happy Birthday’, and everyone had cake and ice cream. Then the younger kids were settled down in front of the television with a Disney video and the older kids played Monopoly.

The four couples from Godly Play left about 8:00 and the youngest of the kids – Chi’an, Dafna, and the birthday girl – nodded off into dreamland. Then Carmen and Steve took their younger brother and sister home, as did Aaron and Audra Feldman with Ricky. Heather Jenkins took the Hammash kids to their house. Pammy, Will Rogers, and the Wei children were bedded on the floors of Paddy and Caitlin’s room.

Finally, the adults could pursue grownup conversation, food, and drinks.

“Yes, please! Remove your hats,” Danny answered. “I have no idea how he got on the hat kick, but thanks to all of you for putting up with it. I know it was an imposition.”

Laura Robbins whispered something to her husband; at first, Ken just stared at her and then began to laugh uncontrollably.

“Okay, share,” Hank demanded.

“My wife has had too many margaritas,” Ken announced.

“We don’t care,” Jessica replied, “talk.”

“I said,” Laura said, then giggled, “that if I replaced the elastic with a longer piece, one that would fit around Ken’s hips, he could wear it over his - ”

At which point, everyone joined in the laughter.

“Yes, my wife has an inner twelve year-old,” Ken said when he finally recovered his voice.

“I’m not sure that it’s exactly what Paddy had in mind when he planned the party,” Danny said, “but I admire the imagination of Laura’s prepubescent child.”

Now that the kids were gone, the adults brought out the somewhat risqué cards they had bought for CJ. Some made fun of growing old, some were suggestive, and some were downright dirty. All of them were funny. The women admired thick gold cuff bracelet with pearls and citrines that Danny had bought for his wife’s birthday. Hannah Feldman said again that it was neat that not only did CJ and Caitlin share a birthday but that Danny and Paddy shared a birth month. She also thought it was “precious” that Danny had given Caitlin a little Add-a-bead necklace with a single citrine on it. The others were sitting in the safety deposit box down at the bank. By the time Caitlin graduated from high school, she would have enough to be permanently set on an adult length chain.

They talked about the recent city council election, congratulating Billy Rogers on winning again. Billy reminded them that by law, this would be his last term on the council and that perhaps someone else should consider running for his seat in two years.

“Don’t look at me!” CJ said.

“Or me!” the Jenkins twins exclaimed in unison.

“What about you, Nancy?”

The group was very careful to include CJ’s brother and sister-in-law in the conversation; Wally Hammash asked several intelligent questions about the harvest at the winery and at Napa in general.

After the last of the neighbors had gone, CJ, Danny, Gina, and Randy loaded the dishwasher and put away the leftovers. Danny went to lock up and the Creggs retired to the guest suite while CJ checked on the kids.

Caitlin was slumbering in peace, clutching the little stuffed tiger that the Feldman’s had given her. The little Add-a-bead necklace was sitting on the dresser. CJ smoothed back the curls from her daughter’s forehead and put a light kiss where Caitlin’s father’s hair color had rested. “Sleep tight, my baby girl. Mama and Daddy love you very much.”

CJ walked through the bath to Paddy’s room. As usual, her son had kicked off his covers and was now slightly shivering, so she pulled the sheet and light-weight blanket up to his shoulders. The motion disturbed him enough to wake him and he opened his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, sweetie,” CJ told him. “It’s still nighttime.”

“Is the party over?”

“Yes, Paddy.”

“Then I need to get up and clean,” Paddy replied, pushing down the blanket and flexing his legs.

“Daddy, Aunt Gina, Uncle Randy and I already did most of that, sweetie; you don’t have to.”

“But I’m the host; it was my job, Mama!”

“Well, tomorrow, you can vacuum; and take out the trash. We didn’t do that. And thank you for the party. That was a nice thing to do for Caitlin and me.”

“Did you really like it, Mama? Did you have a good time?” Paddy settled back on his pillow and yawned.

“I really had a good time, sweetie, and so did Caitlin,” CJ answered. “I liked everything.”

“Did you like the hats, Mama?” Paddy murmured, his eyes closed.

“I loved the hats, Paddy. Good night and God keep you.”

_November 21, 2015; 8:00 PM PST_

“To family, both blood and bond,” Randy raised his champagne flute and saluted his wife, his sister, and his brother-in-law. The others lifted their glasses and they exchanged clinks with each other.

After a leisurely breakfast, the Concannons and their guests spent the early afternoon at the beach, taking advantage of the unusually warm Indian Summer day. Danny was scheduled to lector for the 5:30 Mass, so the adults dressed for dinner beforehand and, returning from church, left the kids in the capable hands of Carmen Muñoz and headed for Casa Emilio’s. Now, having ordered first courses to share (a cold shellfish sampler and a vegetarian antipasto), the four of them sipped the best bottle of Randy’s bubbly to be found in Nancy’s brother’s wine cellar.

Gina told them that Rich and his wife, Chris, who had married last year, were getting a lot of pressure (“But not from us”) about when there might be additions to the family. “My great-uncle Gino is the worst,” Gina laughed. “Rich takes it all in stride. ‘ I’m trying, I’m trying!’ he tells the man. Chris just smiles and says that it will happen when it will happen.”

Danny asked about the other boys and Gina told them of her sons’ lives.

By the time the appetizers arrived, they had decided on their entrées – pork tenderloin for Gina, rack of lamb for CJ, and prime rib for the guys. Randy accepted CJ’s good-natured teasing when he chose a wine from another Napa vineyard to accompany the main courses. “Hey, I recognize that I can’t be the best at everything, and the Heitz family’s Martha’s Vineyard Cab Sauv is the ultimate example of that,” the man admitted. “But if you don’t shut up about it, I’ll tell them it’s your birthday and they’ll sing to you, Ceej.”

“Yeah, but then I’d get a free dessert,” CJ replied, sticking out her tongue for a second.

“And we might get hats!” Gina added, breaking out in laughter.

(When Paddy found out that his aunt, uncle, and parents were going to celebrate his Mama’s birthday for a third time, he wanted them to take their party hats. Danny convinced the child that the restaurant didn’t allow its patrons to bring in hats from outside, “like when we go to the movies. We have to buy their candy.”)

Apparently, Nancy told her brother about CJ’s birthday because when the four of them had made their selections from the pastry cart, the server did light a sparkler and insert it into CJ’s chocolate torte. Mercifully, the wait staff didn’t come over to sing “Happy Birthday”. And no one passed out hats.

Coffee and cognac, but no cigars, completed the meal; the two couples made their way back from Malibu to Santa Monica. Carmen said that the kids had behaved “very well”. The teenager thought she heard a sob from Caitlin, but when she went to investigate, the little girl was sleeping calmly.

Telling Randy and Gina to change into bathing attire and use the hot tub, CJ went to check on the kids while Danny walked Carmen two doors up the street.

Paddy wasn’t in his bed. Navigating the bath to the next room, she saw him lying behind Caitlin, his arm over her stomach. Destiny was at the foot of the bed. When CJ came in, the dog lifted her head as if to say that all was well and that if the situation changed, the canine would handle it.

The four of them didn’t spend long in the bubbling waters. It had been a long day; a fun one, to be sure, but a full one. Danny had locked up when he got back from the Muñoz place, so the two couples walked off in different directions.

CJ lingered in the bathroom, taking off her makeup and brushing her teeth. When she came back into the bedroom, Danny was already in bed, the covers pulled up to his waist. There was a very pronounced peak in the blanket over his groin.

“Are you that horny, Danny? I guess I should be flattered,” CJ teased.

Smiling, Danny threw off the covers. CJ looked at the juncture of his legs and laughed.

“When Paddy asks tomorrow, and you know he will, I will truthfully be able to say that I celebrated your birthday with a hat.”


End file.
